Glad to hear I am not alone... just don't know how to handle these situations? I feel like people are looking at me like I can't control my child, yet I don't always feel like saying, well he has Autism just so I can justify why he is acting a certain way!
I have noticed that when Shawn is tired or his schedule is messed up we are more likely to have a meltdown, especially in public. And it usually starts the same way you decribed...He asks for something, I say no, meltdown begins. If it is possible I will take him outside for a little while to remove him from the stimulus and allow him to calm down. I did not realize how this appeared to others until I was in the check out of a store that we go to all the time and the cashier forgot to push the button to approve my payment. I commented on it and she appoligized and said "Please don't take me outside too." We had a good laugh about it, but I realized that some people must think that I am taking him outside and beating him or something.
Although it is not always possible, I will just try to temporarily remove him from the environment when he has a meltdown in public. If I can't remove him we just continue what we were doing and address his ASD if someone else comments on it, or one of the girls will explain to people staring as I try to work him through the meltdown.
It is the Truth. Abby had a meltdown at the pumpkin patch yesterday. WE were on a field trip with the class we eventually want to move her up in. I wanted it to be such a smooth day to prove Abby has been progressing. She got a piece of hay stuck in her diaper area and starting screaming holding her pee pee. I had no idea what was the matter until I lowered her pants and found it. Then she would not let me put her pants back on her , so she was standing in the middle of the field with her pants down. I know everyone was trying not to look our way, Finally I asked if she wanted to go on the potty, I think she was afraid of going in her diaper, I think she could not get that sensation out of her head of the hay being stuck in her diaper area. So the only plus was she went on the potty and then she was fine. Just something else that we have to work on and try and figure out. But we will just keep working on it.Sounds alot like my son, he is so good normally, he has never really had a tantrum ( I don't consider upset to be a tantrum) , but he sure gets upset over the oddest things. Also, when he points things of interest out to me, which I know it is a great thing, but I am reminded of his ASD because his things of interest are not really what a typical child would be interested in ( every body of water we come across , street lights, that kind of thing) its like they are doing things that typical children do, but over the oddest things, like a typical child would be upset if he did not get the toy or candy he wants, whereas with your child its a stop sign, with mine it would be if he sees a puddle and I don't let him go examine it and stomp in it :)My son's been horribly behaved lately, as well. I can clearly pinpoint the myriad disturbances in his life that led to it, including the school accidentally rewarding him for his inappropriate behavior, but it hurts me.
Can't stop crying today, and am missing his first grade party at school this very moment because of my attitude. GUILT on top of SADNESS and FRUSTRATION. Charming combo.
Sorry for ya'll's distress, too.
Sounds like my last outing to Old Navy with my daughter. I swear half the stores around here have her picture with a slash through it. Do Not let this child enter! LOLGrant has the worst meltdown in the store yesterday! He is always such a good boy, we can go anywhere ,do anything ect. Most times when we are out and I tell people he has Autism they look shocked. He is very verbal and social. The only thing that may stand out on occasion is his obsession with certian things. His current obsession is stop signs, everythign is stop sign this and stop sign that. If he even see's something that is shaped octogon he calls it a stop sign.
Well upon cashing out there was a stop sign on a box that he had to have. I told him no. So he them thinks if he says can i have the stop sign Please he will get it, but I explained we couldn't have that particular stop sign and he just lost it. he was screaming and crying. I think he said stop sign 1,000 times and the little boy in fron of us looked at his mom and said, whey does that little boy keep saying he wants a stop sign? She just ignored her son as she looked embarrassed that he was asking. I actaully hid the box but he only got worse. It seemes like an eternity before we left UGH
Once we got out of the store he was fine, but I have never seen him so upset. I am not sure if it was because he was tired as he fell asleep about 10 minutes after we got home. But everytiem I start to question whether or not the Dr made the wrong diagnosis, he will have this mini meltdowns and I realize they aren't normal *sigh*
we have been having store metdowns lately. I never ever had problems with noah in public, but the last few months he has started showing that side to everyoneThat incident reminds me of my son when he was 6, and we were at the grocery store just before dinner time -- everyone's worst time of day. I told him no about candy, which isn't normally a problem but this time he started ramming the child-sized cart into the cashier's desk.
It took me some time and a class for parents of special needs kids, but I eventually stopped feeling self-conscious when things happen in public. I go into Professional Autism Mom mode, confident that I know best how to deal with the situation. The resources under this topic ("Meltdown Resources") helped me learn how to prevent and deal with meltdowns:
http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17134&am p;KW=meltdown
Good luck with everything.
Boy... I'd be tempted to carry around a stop sign picture or something in my purse, so you could tell him "We can't have that one - but looky here! You can have this one!" Whip it out it when the stop sign crisis occurs. you poor thing! Good luck!Was in the past with Daniel also. Now that he is older public goes a lot better. My issue is the manners thing. Both our kids went after starting public school. Tiredness does make things worse I find.Sarah learned that if she said "Please" she could get just about whatever she wanted....esp. since she didnt want nothing much.. Now though it's a problem because just saying please is not going to get her that pony at the pumpkin patch or the pug at the pet store:)
It is so hard to convey that please is the magic word but it wll not always get them what they want.
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